Fed up being on my own so much. Fed up of not having enough fun and laughter.
Work all day from home alone, then spend all evening at home alone as well.
When your home becomes your prison.
When you don't want to read or watch a film.
When you lack motivation.
That's how I feel.
I know a lot of us have been feeling this way.
It's funny isn't it, when people try to cheer you up by saying there are lots worse off than you. As if thinking of loads of suffering people should make you feel better.
I know it's supposed to make us feel grateful. I am grateful for what I do have. A roof over my head and a job. But those two things alone aren't enough to make feel happy.
Sometimes I wonder if people are on the street for company. They're homeless because they go stir crazy confined between 4 walls.
i was unwell for a good many years................................
all there seemed to be around me was evil in those days....... monsters, creeps, nasty witches, nasty entities....... i suspected all and everyone of dodgy dealings with evil itself.
i talked to myself. my question to myself was 'are your intentions to be a good friend?' i answered 'HELL YES' , 'HELL YES my intention is to be a good friend', and then i told myself 'then you deserve the SAME BACK' you deserve to be loved as much as you can love someone, you deserve it too. I'd delved deep into darkness, that darkest, blackest pit of despair, where i found hope. i found a bit of hope. hope that i was worthy. hope that someone would love me because of what i could give.
Yes so i did say i was going to write something about loneliness. well perhaps i will. i mean REAL loneliness. i mean barely a soul to call a friend........ All my friendships really kind of went all tits up so to speak, for want of a more poetic phrase haha, it was kind of when i was embarking on the onset of schizophrenia and i couldnt deal with people and eventually became a recluse for some years after the point of it becoming what i would call very severe.. people previously had moved away, or they didnt want to know me, didnt know me, or didn't want to get to know me, or i didnt want to know them, or they pissed me off, or i just could not deal with anyone really. so it got to a point where i didn't really speak to anyone. not even my mum who'd i'd kind of fallen out with for some years prior, (and with whom i am now best of friends with i'm glad to say, and actually when the chips were down as far as they could possibly go, she was a saviour ultimately and we bridged what seemed like a vast chasm)...... real loneliness, is having noone. at. all.
Hello everyone. i cant tell you how much better i'm feeling. as i posted to facebook today, i'm actually feeling ENTHUSED about life atm. such a turn around in perception. I went through a real down patch there but back out the other end of it now. :D
I’m so sorry… It’ll get better… Let’s do another video chat soon.. Maybe you and I and whomever would like to join in.. We can do messenger, maybe..
💚🐭💚
It'll pass
but that runs deep.....
How is 'the sadness' JoanOfArc?
This is the place to let anything hang out.
Yep... today is a better day folks. I've got a few things in the diary that are work related and will get me out and about a bit more. Plus I've got a trip to the coast next month booked, which will be an exploration of a sort as thinking of moving down that way.
I was having a moment last night and wanted to reach out, so thank you for your replies, they're much appreciated.
Things will definitely improve.
I've actually suffered worse loneliness than this, many a moon ago. I'll write more about this later as I've got a job to be getting on with for now. :D
x
Hey Joan, Sorry to hear how you feel. It sounds very real and I understand. It will change because everything does even when we don't want it to. The pandemic will come to an end and your situation will change but I do understand that you probably can't feel that at all. I would love to suggest all sorts of things to break you out of this feeling but I don't think that's what you want. I do know that you will wake up one day and for some reason things will be different. Meantime keep doin' the rat xxx
I get how you feel, I think lockdown has affected everyone and deprived people of so much. The only thing to do at this point is to try hang in there. We will appreciate everything so much when we get it all back. Hopefully in the next year or so we can look back on all of this and live life to the fullest ❤️