While I wish I could begin writing underneath such a beautiful & peaceful card (The Star from the Druid Craft Tarot) with only uplifting words, there simply isn't a way that living in Nashville as I do, I could do anything other than beginning by thinking about & writing about the six lives lost in the mass shooting at Covenant School, about a 15~minute drive from where my sister lives & about a 20~minute drive from where I live, on Monday morning. Weatherwise, Monday was a beautiful spring morning, bright & sunny with white fluffy clouds, and temperatures in the low~60's. There had been an incredibly pretty sunrise. No one could have imagined what would take place in the middle of this morning. I had wondered why a helicopter seemed to be flying so low above my apartment roof somewhere between 10:15~10:25am. I turned to my two very alarmed cats & said, "I know! That's too loud!" I now realize that was one of the police helicopters flying overhead. The sound was so alarming in the middle of this truly beautiful, tranquil spring morning. I wish the sound of the helicopter were the most alarming thing that was going to happen that day. Unfortunately, it's what the helicopter was headed towards that will always be one of the most alarming things to happen anywhere ever. Even though people are needlessly, senselessly killed everywhere every day, it will always be alarming when even one life is taken in any way at all. The six people who were killed by the school shooter on Monday morning were killed in the most brutal of ways, with an AR-15. They are William Kinney (about to turn 9, his pictures show him wearing a Christmas shirt that says "Joy"), 9~year~old Evelyn Dieckhaus (described as very creative & loved to put on plays in the backyard with her big sister, Eleanor, was shot when she reached to pull the fire alarm), 9~year~old Hallie Scruggs (described as delightful & having a sunny personality), Cindy Peak (61, substitute teacher who loved her little white fluffy dog and is loved very much by her family & friends), Mike Hill (61, custodian at Covenant School for a decade & a~half, father of 8, and loved the kids at Covenant), and Katherine Koonce (60, head of Covenant School, and discovered in front of her office door, with the belief being she was heading towards the shooter to try to stop her). I didn't know any of these people, but for the last two nights, I go to sleep with their names and faces on my mind and wake up thinking about them, too...and their families & friends, their classmates & students. I'm sure there are members of their families that haven't been able to get out of bed or leave the house & don't know how they ever will again. I wouldn't even begin to suggest ways that they might do that ~ I only hope that all of them will find a way forward to some kind of place of peacefulness, although I know that's a very long way away.
When I sat down to draw a card this morning, I asked to be shown a card that will offer peace & show a way forward for all of those who are going through the pain & torment of loss, whether it's traumatic loss or even loss through natural cause ~ the loss of someone you love is always traumatic. I also wanted it to be for anyone going through any kind of heartbreak at all ~ any kind of suffering. I'm glad that I drew a card with such a peaceful image. Just looking at the deep blue sky of the Star from the Druid Craft Tarot brings peace to your mind. The Moon is shown approaching its new phase, which shows that very slowly, over the progression of time, a way forward will emerge. The woman at the center of the Star card concentrates only on pouring water from the pitchers she holds in each hand. This is encouragement to concentrate only on what is peaceful for you. There's all the time in the world. There is no rush. Don't concern yourself with things such as accomplishment, achieving, & material "success". Concentrate only on what is peaceful for you. The Star is ruled by Aquarius. No two Aquarians on earth are alike. This is one of the most unique beings you will ever meet. Aquarius is the sign of the inventor, and the highly offbeat inventor, at that! The presence of Aquarius is a reminder that each of us will always find our own way ~ in everything in life ~ but most certainly, when we're experiencing the deep pain of loss, trauma, heartbreak or any kind of difficult situation ~ there is no right or wrong way forward & there is no correct timeline. You will gradually find your way forward with the things that feel right and helpful for you ~ it may be music that helps you, something you read, sitting by a stream ~ and there is no correct amount of time for any of this. In reality, you won't return to life as you knew it As the woman at the center of the Star card pours water into the stream, she kneels upon a rock with one leg & steps into the stream with the other. She is maintaining connection with the reality of her & the world's circumstances while also allowing herself to feel the cooling, healing water, allowing it to bring her peace and, when she is ready, inspiration. I've always found it very helpful, even in the most deeply painful of times, to allow yourself to be surrounded by all of the beautiful things of the outside world ~ spending time under the stars at night, watching the sun rise in the morning, sitting by a stream and watching the fish swim and the way the sunlight dances on the water, or even just sitting by an open window, because even when we're in too much pain to see it or believe it could be true, the beautiful & peaceful things in nature are soothing & easing our minds, looking after us, and helping us to move forward gradually in a way that's comfortable for us and allowing us to do it in our own time.
Yesterday afternoon, when CNN aired for the first time, the police bodycam footage, Poppy Harlow said afterwards that as the police were moving rapidly through a classroom, she spotted a drawing on the wall on which a little girl or boy had written "HOPE". It struck her that that drawing was so visible. "Hope" is one of the key words associated with the Star card. When I drew the Star this morning, I immediately thought of the drawing on the wall. I strongly feel that for everyone reading this who is going though a painful situation, experiencing trauma of any kind, or heartbreak, even if it sounds only like a saying, hope will find a way to you, even if it's in tiny little increments, and help to guide you out of the very darkest of places.
Sending thoughts of peacefulness, love, and hope to everyone ~